Understanding the Struggles of Parenting

The challenges of the pandemic have been overwhelming for many, particularly for parents trying to balance remote work and their children's education. While I can't provide a solution to manage both, I can offer a strategy to encourage your kids to complete their homework.

What It Looks Like in Practice

In a notable study, researchers approached university students to see if they would accompany at-risk high school students to a zoo for two hours. Predictably, only 17% agreed. However, when the same researchers first asked if the students could commit to being personal counselors for those teens for two years (an obviously unreasonable request), the subsequent request to visit the zoo garnered a 51% acceptance rate.

The initial large request set the stage for the smaller, more manageable request to be taken more seriously.

The Psychology Behind It

This technique operates on the principle of reciprocity, a powerful social norm that compels individuals to return favors. When someone makes a substantial request and then offers a concession by asking for something smaller, the other party often feels obliged to reciprocate.

For example, if you receive a gift without giving one in return, it creates discomfort. This same principle explains why we feel compelled to respond positively when someone offers us a compliment.

Returning Concessions

Not only do we feel the need to reciprocate gifts, but we also feel the same urge when it comes to concessions. This is the core of the door-in-the-face strategy.

In the previously mentioned study, the researchers' initial large request created a sense of obligation among the students to accept the smaller follow-up request—resulting in a significant increase in compliance.

Implementation with Your Kids

A study aimed at children revealed similar results. When one group was asked to complete a 20-question assignment, only 35% agreed. However, when asked to do a 100-question assignment first, and then offered the 20 questions, compliance jumped to 90%.

To apply this technique with your children, consider the following examples:

• Homework Scenario: If you want your child to write a paragraph about Helen Keller, first ask if they would write four pages. Once they refuse, request just one paragraph.
• Reading Assignment: If you hope they will read a chapter, initially ask if they can finish the entire book before dinner. When they decline, follow up with the chapter request.
• Cleaning Task: If you need them to tidy their room, start by asking if they can clean the entire house. After they say no, ask them to clean just their room.

Is This Manipulative?

You might wonder if this strategy is manipulative. While it's commonly employed in sales, its ethical implications can be debated. My role isn't to judge, but rather to share insights from social science research that could be useful in moments of urgency—like when you need your children to stay focused during your work calls.

Video Insights

For further understanding, check out these videos that delve into effective homework strategies.

The first video explores techniques to motivate your kids to complete their homework:

The second video offers homework solutions tailored for middle and high school students:

References

• Chan, A. C. Y., & Au, T. K. F. (2011). Getting children to do more academic work: foot-in-the-door versus door-in-the-face. Teaching and Teacher Education, 27(6), 982–985.
• Cialdini, R. B., et al. (1975). Reciprocal concessions procedure for inducing compliance: The door-in-the-face technique. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 31(2), 206.
• Gouldner, A. W. (1960). The norm of reciprocity: A preliminary statement. American Sociological Review, 25(2), 161–178.
• O’Keefe, D. J., & Hale, S. L. (2001). An odds?ratio?based meta?analysis of research on the door?in?the?face influence strategy. Communication Reports, 14(1), 31–38.