Chapter 1: The Quest for Stability

Many who know me are aware of my ongoing struggle to find a place I can truly call home. This restlessness is one of the key reasons that motivated our relocation to New Zealand. I believed that a significant move would quell my wanderlust, at least for a while.

However, over the last seven years, I've realized that this persistent yearning for more never really fades; it simply transforms into a desire for something different. It seems the allure of the unfamiliar is always tempting, and even if the grass isn’t greener on the other side, I often feel compelled to explore it.

Since relocating to New Zealand, we've changed residences ten times—six of those within the last two years. While some of these transitions were unforeseen, that’s a story for another time. Contrary to what one might assume, moving so frequently isn’t an exhilarating adventure; it's draining and unsettling.

I've also never had the desire to purchase a home, as owning a house feels synonymous with settling down. The thought of a mortgage is stifling, like a weight around my neck. Homeownership seems burdensome, confining me to a single location.

Why would anyone want to remain in one place indefinitely?

This is why we chose to rent; it offers the flexibility to relocate at will. Unfortunately, renting also means that landlords have their own freedom, such as deciding to end the lease unexpectedly. This is part of the saga of our six moves in two years, but I digress.

In early 2023, after our fifth move in two years, my partner and I reflected on our lives. We questioned why we felt this unending desire for something new, something different, something unexplored.

Was it true wanderlust? Were we genuinely adventurous? Or, perhaps, were we simply fleeing from something?

Chapter 2: Reconnecting with Forgotten Dreams

I recalled a dream we had many years ago while still in Belgium. This aspiration was the real reason behind our move to New Zealand; the life we envisioned simply wasn't attainable in Belgium. We had dreamed of living off the grid and becoming self-sufficient.

I pictured myself growing vegetables, raising chickens, and perhaps brewing kombucha or engaging in other self-sustaining activities. Yet, somewhere along the way in the past seven years, we lost sight of that dream.

It felt akin to walking into the kitchen to grab my phone, only to leave with a snack, forgetting the original purpose of my visit. We pursued careers and thought that living in a beach house would fulfill us, even though that was never our primary goal. I’m not complaining; the beach house was lovely, but once we remembered our initial vision, we couldn't ignore it any longer.

As is often the case when reflecting on life, I turned to the internet. What happened next felt serendipitous: I stumbled upon an ad for a piece of land for lease, "ideal for a tiny house." We didn’t own a tiny house, but that detail didn’t deter us. The following day, we visited the site, enchanted by the stunning road leading to it. Even before setting foot on the property, we knew it was where we belonged. That same week, we decided to make it our home. No electricity, no internet, no cell service? We could manage!

We dedicated the next six months to constructing a tiny house and repurposing an old shipping container, preparing for our off-grid lifestyle. Now, two months into this new chapter, I find that I no longer yearn for something new or different.

I don’t feel an incessant urge to escape; I simply want to be present, right here, and nowhere else.

Perhaps, all this time, we were evading a life that never quite fit us, while simultaneously running toward a long-forgotten dream that we have now rediscovered.

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The first video, "The Grass Isn't Always Greener #foru," explores the complexities of seeking fulfillment through constant change and adventure.

The second video, "The Grass Isn't Always Greener," dives deeper into the themes of contentment and the quest for a meaningful life, resonating with the journey discussed here.