Improving Confidence Through a Practical Approach to Social Anxiety
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Understanding Social Anxiety
Social anxiety has been a lifelong challenge for me. Toward the end of last year, I discovered a book that delves into the mechanics of social anxiety and offers manageable, step-by-step strategies for tackling this issue. It turned out to be a lifesaver.
Although I completed the book several months ago, it serves as a continual reference for anyone seeking to overcome social anxiety. Recently, I experienced a significant resurgence of my anxiety during my internship, which involves numerous unfamiliar and anxiety-provoking interactions. Additionally, attending church, where fostering deep connections with fellow members is encouraged, leaves me feeling anxious each Sunday.
In this context, I found one of the templates from the book particularly effective. Here's how I applied it with a real-life scenario: The Counter-Belief Worksheet.
The Initial Belief
Belief: The individual currently using the basketball court I want to access will feel annoyed by having to share.
Confidence Level: 0–100%
Initial Belief Strength: 75%
Before the Event: Consider a challenging future scenario.
I planned to ask the person on the court if we could share it.
Expectation: I would regret asking, assuming he would respond reluctantly, making me dread the experience of shooting hoops where I felt unwelcome.
What to Observe: Pay attention to his tone when I approach him.
After the Event: What actually transpired?
He responded warmly, saying, “Of course, go ahead,” while smiling when I asked to share the court. Another individual joined in to shoot hoops as well, without needing permission. It seemed that anyone can casually bring a ball and shoot hoops.
Conclusions Drawn:
I can participate in my basketball practice for my motor control assignment, even among strangers, as it's common practice. There's no need for anxiety.
Revising the Original Belief
Revised Confidence Level: 0–100%
Modified Belief Strength: 60%
New Perspective: While some individuals might feel put out by sharing a court, many are accustomed to it, so most people are likely to be fine with it. Although I might still feel a bit nervous next time, I don't have to let it hold me back.
From this example, my anxiety about sharing the basketball court didn’t vanish entirely, but it was uplifting to see my anxiety diminish from 75% to 60%.
Before I actually approached the person on the court, I found myself pacing around the block, grappling with intense nervousness over what I assumed would be a simple request for most. It was far from easy for me.
Nonetheless, this small victory significantly boosted my confidence and motivated me to apply this technique in future scenarios.
While it can be laborious to answer numerous questions and revisit them afterward, I reached a point where my social anxiety was severely impacting my life, and I needed a way out. Documenting and analyzing my anxiety proved to be invaluable.
Using Technology to Ease the Process
One aspect that simplified this process for me was typing my thoughts into a note-taking app rather than writing them down with pen and paper. I filled out the 'Before the event' sections while anxiously pacing around the court! Afterwards, I completed the post-event analysis on my way home.
This method is drawn from the book, "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioral techniques." I highly recommend it, especially if you have been battling social anxiety for an extended period without a clear path to overcome it. By purchasing the book through this link, I’ll receive a small commission from Amazon at no additional cost to you.