Discovering Authentic Identity: Unraveling the Journey of Self
Written on
Understanding Our Identity
Boise, Idaho — Image captured by the Author
What truly defines our identity, and how can we be certain it's genuine? One of the primary obstacles we face is a pervasive, invisible fear that repeatedly undermines our confidence.
What is this fear? It’s a truth I’ve grappled with, often avoiding it for reasons I didn’t fully comprehend. This struggle led me to experience overwhelming frustration and despair, pushing me into a cycle of defeat.
Have you guessed what it is yet?
No?
Allow me to reveal it: it's Progress.
Progress often eludes our understanding; we tend to view it as a straightforward, positive experience. In reality, it's a far more elusive concept that challenges us in unique and exhausting ways. Frequently, we find ourselves feeling lost amidst this journey.
Yet, the most remarkable aspect of your success story lies in the distinct path you take to achieve it, provided you acknowledge your victories—this is essential.
Progress often manifests in discomfort. It’s not merely the fleeting moments of joy and excitement; rather, it’s the relentless force that confronts us, attempting to deter us from moving forward. It’s that persistent adversary that gnaws at our resolve with every attempt to escape its grasp.
Even when we triumph and overcome this entity, it reappears every time we dare to take a leap, mirroring our fears and instilling doubt once again.
I regret to inform you that this shadowy figure will always lurk in the background. It’s akin to the adult version of the childhood monster hiding beneath the bed.
However, there’s hope. This figure can be tamed and distracted by your cleverness and decisive actions.
Embracing Change
Warning: the weight of understanding progress—and the prescribed method to combat it—will alter your perspective permanently. Ultimately, the trajectory of this change lies in your hands. You hold the responsibility.
So, what does it mean to purify your identity?
One of my greatest frustrations has been having access to a wealth of knowledge yet feeling stagnant in my growth. I’ve consumed more literature in the last five years than during my entire education, immersing myself in TED Talks, YouTube videos, and resources on habits, mindsets, relationships, and the intricacies of male authenticity.
That reflective figure? It absorbs everything about you, yet it remains blind to your internal struggles.
This is how you outsmart that adversary.
Here’s the revelation:
Your identity isn’t defined by your external circumstances, but rather, by your inner self. It is the essence of who you are, cultivated through introspection and self-dialogue, radiating outward into your actions.
Wait… I need to discover this on my own?
Determining whether you’re embodying your true self can be challenging. We often focus on the tangible outcomes of our actions, mistakenly identifying with them as markers of success. Be cautious…
According to Merriam-Webster, identity is described as the distinguishing character or personality of an individual. Yet, society often bombards us with messages about how to appear successful, healthy, or attractive, diverting our attention from genuine self-exploration and authentic intention.
YOUR TRUE IDENTITY resides not in the specifics of what you acquire or achieve. It’s not about your educational background, accolades, or even your physical appearance. These elements merely DEFINE your identity; they should not be mistaken for your essence.
The most authentic version of your identity emerges from the shadows, guiding you into the light. It resides in your inner dialogues about feelings, power, and direction. It manifests through your reflections, meditations, and physical expressions. It’s evident in your communication, self-control, and interactions with the world around you.
Your identity is what you choose it to be, independent of external validation.
The challenge lies in recognizing that our actions do not define us, but rather, evolving those actions is crucial for sustaining progress. Understanding that the discomfort of letting go is vital for your identity to evolve is essential. It allows you to shed the constraints that have long held you back.
The Power of Transformation
I have dedicated years to powerlifting, repeatedly competing and embracing the sport that saved me from the brink of despair. It became a pivotal chapter in my life, ignited by the heartache of my first love—the kind of loss that alters your life’s trajectory.
Then, I had a revelation…
What if I’m no longer the athlete I believed myself to be? What if those weight goals no longer resonate with me? What if my body is signaling for a change? What if my mind is re-evaluating its priorities, and I’m resisting that shift?
What if my commitment to this sport has been a way to evade the deeper quest for my purpose? What if I was so consumed by doubt about my identity that I clung to an image that made me feel powerful and recognized by my peers?
What will people think? What will happen to my community? My relevance? My identity?
But…
What if all that pain is necessary? What if it’s my soul signaling that it’s time to progress?
The reality is, as long as we consume external influences in pursuit of success, our identity will remain shaped by those external forces.
Many of us attempt to construct our identity from the outside in, trying to conform to societal expectations.
Remember, it’s not the shell that defines an egg; it’s the yolk—the core that brings life. The shell merely provides form; it’s strong enough to offer temporary protection but fragile enough to allow the inner essence to emerge when the time is right.
If we listen to our impulses, desires, and the yearnings of our soul, we will ultimately shape an identity that is authentic and self-defined, regardless of the number of setbacks we encounter.
The definition of your identity may always be fluid, continually challenging you. Yet, it’s essentially inviting you to pursue it.
It beckons you to act from your core, authentically and repeatedly.
That’s the essence of who you truly are.