The Time I Tried and Failed to Break the Internet
Written on
Chapter 1: A Nostalgic Dive
It was one of those nights—when the world seems to blur and all you can hear is the sound of footsteps echoing in the dark.
Note: The timeline of events may not be precise, but let's roll with it. This narrative was sparked by a recent discussion with Osyth about my brief stint as a performer. She mentioned, “I don’t know your voice, but we have imagination.” It just so happens I have an old video that might clarify things a bit...
Out of sheer curiosity, I logged into Goodreads the other evening, a platform I rarely visit these days. It's not that I have any aversion to it; rather, it's one of those hobbies I became enamored with before moving on to new interests. This is one of my quirks: I can dive headfirst into a passion, only to suddenly lose interest and shift to something else entirely.
The sole reason I ventured onto Goodreads was due to a friend request I received, prompting me to check it out. Perhaps someone had read one of my books and enjoyed it? I hoped for the best! As I brushed off the cobwebs from my Goodreads dashboard, I noticed a mountain of notifications. I knew many of them wouldn't pique my interest. I had no desire to attend a book signing in a distant land, nor did I feel inclined to join discussions about the intricacies of zombie fiction set in Madagascar.
I swiftly navigated through the notifications, deleting the ones that didn't appeal (no, no, definitely not). Then, I spotted a comment from Lorie, a fellow blogger from WordPress. Curious, I clicked on it and discovered that Lorie had taken the time to watch my video.
Oh dear, that video.
You see, ages ago, when I was an inexperienced blogger still in the phase of hoping for acceptance, I created a video and uploaded it to YouTube, dreaming of instant fame. Unfortunately, it flopped spectacularly and achieved nothing of note. (I just checked, and it has only garnered 12 views in five years—definitely not the record I had envisioned.) After some time, I experienced a brief lapse in judgment and reposted the video on Goodreads during another of my obsessive phases. (I mainly did it to silence the persistent reminder on my Author Page: "You haven't posted a video!" It felt like a warning that authorities might come for me if I didn't comply.)
Fast forward to now, and Lorie has stumbled upon my old video. Initially, I felt embarrassed for not having deleted it, but Lorie's comment gave me a new perspective: “I enjoyed hearing your voice for real after reading your work. You sound genuine.”
That brought a smile to my face. As we age, if we’re doing it right, the little things fade away while the truly significant aspects of life gain prominence. A random video from years ago becomes just another hue in our ever-changing kaleidoscope of experiences.
Enjoy.
This has been previously published more times than I care to admit.
A little background: The opening photo was taken of me, slightly tipsy, at the Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone, New Orleans. As for the video, I was unaware that professional video bloggers edit their content thoroughly before posting. What I shared was a single take, flaws included—like that awkward “Love Ya!” at the end. I was simply relieved to have completed the recording without major blunders after numerous exhausting attempts, and my excitement got the best of me.
New Note: This repost was inspired by the wonderful Victoria Kjos here on Medium. She reached out to share that she had come across a video of me, and since I only have two, I'm guessing she meant this one. We shared a laugh and had a delightful conversation. I truly cherish my Medium friends. (Victoria: If you found that OTHER video of me, which is even worse than this one, I sincerely apologize for your experience. Hugs.)
Ultimately, while many of us hesitate to show our true selves—physically or vocally—the reality remains: the more we share, the more we connect, and we come to understand that we are all just trying to navigate this chaotic existence together. This understanding is more essential now than ever.