Reflections on Time: Embracing Birthdays for Self-Improvement
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The Meaning of Birthdays
Growing up, I had a peculiar relationship with my birthday celebrations. I rarely celebrated, kept my birthday details private on social media, and set Facebook to show it only to myself. This way, I avoided putting pressure on friends and family to acknowledge my special day.
As my birthday approached, anxiety would creep in. The realization that another year had gone by filled me with dread. I often pondered: What have I achieved this year? What milestones have I reached?
Motivation Through Honest Reflection
Initially, I considered referencing a post titled "Stop Wasting Your Time" from Good F*cking Design Advice to kick off this article. This straightforward advice has served as a source of motivation in both my personal and professional life.
These blunt truths can be quite humbling and even a bit confronting. As an Asian gay man raised in a religious environment, I understand how this form of self-reflection can be instrumental in personal growth.
I often find myself procrastinating, especially when balancing multiple deadlines or getting caught up in mobile games just before needing to prepare a meal for my partner.
Understanding Distraction
For years, I held on to various negative beliefs about myself—like thinking I wasn't productive or that I was inherently lazy. Nir Eyal, a former Stanford lecturer and author of several bestsellers, has greatly influenced my approach to productivity and healthy habits.
Here are a few insights from Nir’s discussions on Mindvalley:
- Distraction isn't just something that happens to us; it's an action we choose, pulling us away from our goals.
- Only about 10% of distractions stem from external triggers. Mastering our internal triggers is key to becoming truly indistractable.
- Instead of blaming or shaming ourselves, we should claim responsibility for our feelings and decide how to respond.
- Practical strategies include surfing the urge to be distracted (using the 10-minute rule) and timeboxing tasks.
For a long time, I prided myself on being a multitasker, but I've learned that multitasking is merely task switching. I highly recommend listening to Nir's insights on distraction in the Mindvalley podcast; it has significantly improved my productivity without added stress.
Mental Well-being and Self-Expectations
Confronting hard truths often ignites my motivation, though it comes with its own challenges. I frequently seek distractions even when aware of more urgent tasks. My partner often walks in to find me hastily putting my phone away, feeling guilty.
A definition from Three-Principles Living made me reflect on the societal language surrounding mental health and illness. Realizing that feelings of inadequacy regarding productivity stem from values I adopted early in life empowers me to set clearer boundaries and intentions.
Imagining Infinite Time
As a child, I fantasized about immortality, like Dorian Gray, wanting the ability to keep learning and evolving. This desire often arose from the pressure to accomplish many things quickly, wishing I could simply take my time.
The phrase “Time is of the essence” points to a deeper truth. Life is the essence, while time serves as a framework we’ve established to create order from life’s potential.
This video explores the meaning of the "Time is of the Essence" clause in real estate contracts, shedding light on its implications.
The Transformative Power of Gratitude
One of the most impactful books I've read is Dan Sullivan's "The Gap and the Gain." My partner introduced it to me during a challenging phase in our relationship, where I struggled with unmet expectations and an inflated ego.
The book emphasizes that many ambitious individuals feel discontent because they measure their progress against an unattainable ideal, which places them in "the GAP." Conversely, when we reflect on our growth from our past selves, we find ourselves in "the GAIN."
I began to compare who I am now to who I was a year ago during my birthday month. This practice fosters gratitude and helps me recognize my progress, even during tough times, boosting my motivation and confidence for future endeavors.
My partner and I are fortunate to have our birthdays just a day apart, allowing us to share celebrations. This year, we planned a financial getaway to Hobart, Tasmania, and I’m thrilled that it’s just a month away!
What does time signify for you? Reflecting on your past year, how have you grown? What are you most thankful for? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
A detailed exploration of the phrase "Time is of the Essence" and its significance in real estate contexts.