The Surprising Truth About Nice Guys and Jerks in Society
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Chapter 1: The Misconception of Jerks Winning
Contrary to the common belief that selfish individuals often come out on top, various studies indicate that "nice guys" can achieve success in different ways. Research shows that while it may appear that self-centered jerks are thriving, they actually face significant setbacks, particularly in salary and romantic relationships. A recent study found that disagreeable individuals—regardless of gender—do not gain an advantage in securing power within professional environments.
The intimidating demeanor that some selfish individuals may project is countered by their poor interpersonal skills, as revealed by the study. In contrast, extroverted individuals who exhibit kindness tend to progress further in their careers thanks to their energy, assertiveness, and crucially, their social abilities.
The study analyzed personality assessments from 457 college students, comparing their results with their professional standings 14 years later. Participants were asked about their current power and rank, with colleagues providing additional evaluations of their behavior and status. The results showed that those characterized by selfishness, deceit, and aggression did not achieve any more power than their generous and trustworthy counterparts.
"I was astonished by the consistency of the results," noted Cameron Anderson, a co-author of the study from the University of California Haas School of Business. "Disagreeableness did not provide any advantage in the race for power, even in highly competitive environments."
However, it is important to note that organizations often place disagreeable individuals in positions of authority, allowing them to ascend at the same rate as more agreeable individuals.
Section 1.1: Understanding Disagreeable Personalities
Selfish individuals are primarily recognized by their lack of agreeableness. These types may not fully exhibit narcissistic traits, yet they embody behaviors that researchers describe as quarrelsome, cold, and manipulative. The study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on August 31 characterized disagreeable people as those who tend to be hostile, abusive, and indifferent to the needs of others.
This conclusion remains consistent across various demographics, including gender and ethnicity, as well as across different business cultures.
Anderson suggests that these findings might also extend to the political realm, where maintaining alliances is critical for gaining power. "Disagreeable politicians may struggle to maintain the necessary relationships due to their toxic behavior," he states.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Upsides of Kindness
Section 1.2: The Financial Aspects of Agreeableness
While being nice has its advantages, research reveals a notable drawback: agreeable individuals often experience greater financial struggles, according to a 2018 study involving data from 3 million participants. "Our research indicated that agreeableness correlated with financial difficulties, such as lower savings and higher debt," stated Joe Gladstone, PhD, from University College London.
This trend appears to be influenced by the tendency of agreeable people to prioritize others over money, putting them at greater risk for financial mismanagement. However, it is worth mentioning that this pattern is more pronounced among individuals with lower incomes who lack the financial means to offset the negative impacts of their agreeable nature.
Despite potential financial challenges, studies show that kind individuals typically earn more than their selfish counterparts. According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the most selfless individuals not only have larger families but also enjoy higher salaries.
"The evidence is clear across both American and European data. The most generous individuals have the most children, while those who are moderately altruistic see the highest salary growth over time," said Kimmo Eriksson, a researcher at the Center for Cultural Evolution at Stockholm University.
Chapter 2: The Romantic Benefits of Kindness
Being nice can also enhance romantic relationships. A recent study involving over 2,500 heterosexual couples married for an average of 20 years found that having a conscientious and kind partner leads to greater relationship satisfaction. Regardless of whether couples share similar traits, the presence of kindness and conscientiousness in a partner significantly influences relationship fulfillment.
"While compatibility is often prioritized, our findings suggest that qualities such as kindness and anxiety levels may be far more crucial than merely matching personality types," noted William Chopik, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Michigan State University.
The first video, Why NICE GUYS Finish LAST: Why Women Love Jerks, explores the complexities of romantic attraction and the societal perceptions of nice guys versus selfish individuals.
The second video, Nice Guys Finish First, discusses the advantages of being kind and how it can lead to more successful personal and professional relationships.