Finding Joy in the Little Things: A Spoonie’s Reflection
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Chapter 1: A Day of Productivity
Today has been quite fulfilling. I’ve managed to tackle some household tasks, drop the kids off at school, and even squeeze in a refreshing hour-long nap! There’s still more on my agenda, but thankfully, I’ve got a bit of energy left.
It feels like an eternity since I’ve had sufficient energy to handle the majority of my daily responsibilities. With unmedicated ADHD (which I hope to treat again soon) combined with my autoimmune challenges, my energy reserves have been severely limited. Poor sleep, largely due to persistent pain, has greatly impacted my daily motivation.
Explaining my daily experience to those who don’t share similar struggles is daunting. My mind often resembles a cluttered table filled with important documents, all disorganized. When I’m on my treatment plan, I can neatly categorize and file these “papers.” Unfortunately, after switching doctors and undergoing surgery, I haven’t resumed my medication since last November. I yearn for the clarity to concentrate again. It’s not about laziness; it’s simply overwhelming to face the multitude of tasks before me. This leads to anxiety, and in turn, paralysis in getting things done—an exhausting cycle.
Section 1.1: Living with Chronic Pain
Compounding my challenges is the constant discomfort in my joints. Some days are better than others, but the aches are always present. There’s no way to gauge how much activity is too much until I’ve already overdone it. Imagine the fatigue and discomfort of the flu; you want to remain still because movement intensifies the pain, yet you know it will eventually subside. With conditions like Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, however, this discomfort is a daily reality, and I’m expected to function like anyone else. Balancing household duties, job responsibilities, and scheduling enjoyable outings can be incredibly tough. Each day presents a decision of what can wait and what requires immediate attention. It’s undeniably challenging.
Subsection 1.1.1: Celebrating Small Victories
I am genuinely grateful for these positive days. They bring me immense joy as I reflect on the accomplishments I’ve achieved. I aspire to be more than just a writer who dwells in negativity. My goal is to raise awareness about these challenges and reassure others that they are not alone in their experiences.