Chapter 1: The Quest for True Freedom

In my prayers, I often reflect on the complexities of independence from worldly influences, seeking a deeper reliance on You, Lord. I yearn to be liberated to love without restraint, embodying the love of Jesus Christ. As I navigate life, I strive to engage with this world from a different perspective—living in it but not being of it, balancing my existence here while aspiring for Your Kingdom.

Lord, I’ve traveled a significant journey, and I’m beginning to perceive the stark contrasts. The world bombards me with messages of necessity and obligation—social pressures and personal rejection. Yet, I recognize that I truly need very little and am not bound to do anything. We simply choose the consequences we are willing to accept, as You've revealed from the Garden.

For me and my household, God, I've experienced the cost of gaining worldly treasures at the expense of my soul. This often-devalued, exploited individual? In You, I find solace and worth, even when the world discards me as worthless. How could I even consider returning to the chains of my former life when I've witnessed Your glory and liberation?

As Galatians 4:9 asks, “Why are you turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you want to be enslaved all over again?” I pray that such a situation never arises! I aim to remain steadfast in the Spirit, genuinely free, serving You with an undivided heart. You’ve made it clear that if I do not make a choice, one will be made for me. My heart can only serve one master—you designed it that way.

There can be no claim of faithfulness to You, Lord, if materialism or anyone else, including myself, sits upon the throne of my heart.

Chapter 2: Questioning Our Attachments

Am I a slave to my appearance? While clothing and accessories may not occupy my mind, what about my self-image? How do I perceive physical fitness, mental health, and the accolades that come from achievements? Am I still that little girl seeking validation through grades and accolades?

I long to walk in the light of Your Spirit, Lord. May Your grace shine upon me, freeing me from the need to prove myself to anyone but You, the One who calls me daughter of the Living King. May my actions reflect this truth, done with joy in being who You created me to be.

Am I a slave to friendships? Do I prioritize social expectations over the pursuit of Your Kingdom? My true friends would chuckle at the thought of me altering my behavior for them, but how about colleagues and acquaintances? When societal norms dictate who I should favor or how I should behave, who truly reigns in my heart? Who do I invite into my life?

Search my heart, O God. Test me and reveal the tangled thoughts and competing priorities. If necessary, place a barrier before me that everyone can see, guiding me along the path of eternal life.

Am I enslaved by my work? This is a challenge for me, as I have a passion for my profession. Yet, I wonder: does my work consume my devotion? Does it dictate my worth, my identity, and my relationships? Is work allowed to take precedence over my loved ones? Am I still tempted to define my value through my accomplishments?

Especially now, as my vocation aligns with Your work, it becomes increasingly complex. High King of Heaven, only You can help me maintain a healthy perspective on my labor. You alone provide the affirmation that leads to a life of total surrender and holiness. Keep me aligned with Your Spirit, reminding me to heed Your call above all else—even when it appears to contradict worldly progress.

Am I a slave to my habits? We are all shaped by our routines; the critical question is whether they honor You or lead me astray. Whether it's vices, leisure activities, or even my approach to prayer, I must assess their impact.

John Wesley would likely have referred to the misuse of indulgences, from excessive entertainment to mindless spending. I realize that even seemingly trivial habits can divert my focus from You.

O Lord, guide me deeper into Your grace and peace. Lead me through the wilderness in these 40 days and beyond. Allow me to approach You in stillness, stripped of distractions, where I can truly comprehend the essence of faith.

Test me, humble me, teach me. Reveal my true nature, shaped by eternity. May I hear Your still voice amidst chaos, guiding me to the ancient paths where rest and restoration await.

Wherever You lead me, Jesus, go ahead and protect me—You are the Gate. Let me take comfort in knowing that You declare, “I AM the Way.”