The Evolving Perception of New Experiences Over Time
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Chapter 1: The Diminishing Value of New Experiences
As we age, our relationship with new experiences often transforms. It's not to suggest that all new endeavors are detrimental; however, the returns we gain from them tend to lessen over time.
Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash
Jerry Seinfeld, at the age of 68, embodies a complex blend of curiosity and frustration, particularly concerning society's expectations to embrace new activities. In an episode of "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee," he discusses jet-skiing with John Oliver, who struggles to envision Jerry enjoying the experience. Seinfeld shares, “I enjoy exploring, but I don't anticipate pleasure. I'm intrigued by what appeals to others.”
In a separate conversation with Trevor Noah about going on an African safari, Seinfeld admits his indifference towards the animals, showing more interest in the Jeep itself. He reflects, “I’m not keen on safaris, but there are elephants and lions in the wild. Yet, how different are these elephants from others I’ve encountered? Ah, they’re just the same as before.”
The Balance of Life's Experiences
In my younger years, I was adventurous, eager to satiate my curiosity and dive into new experiences, believing that they defined a fulfilling life. However, as I approach middle age, I recognize that the benefits no longer consistently outweigh the drawbacks. I often ponder, what can you show me that I haven't already seen? How does this experience surpass past ones, and how much discomfort must I endure for it?
When assessing life's experiences, it's vital to evaluate the rewards against the effort involved. While some experiences may still be worthwhile, their value might not be as high as it once seemed. This perspective is shaped by a lifetime of experiences, granting me insight that younger individuals may lack. My reluctance isn't due to a lack of interest in what you offer; rather, I may have already encountered something similar and lack the desire for a repeat.
A Precious Resource
My wife has a passion for the outdoors. She enjoys strolls in the woods, beach outings, gardening, or simply relaxing on the lawn. As long as the weather is fair, she prefers outdoor activities. She even borrows our son's dog to have a walking companion.
To her, pleasant weather feels like a fleeting blessing, a limited resource that must be savored. She views staying indoors on a sunny day as a missed opportunity. To echo a biblical sentiment, “Who among you can extend a sunny day to your life?”
This sentiment resonates with many. People often rave about sunsets, supermoons, eclipses, and meteor showers. I find myself questioning what truly remains unseen. Will this moon reveal anything new? Is it performing or creating a spectacle? No? Then I've seen the moon before.
While it’s undeniable that life is precious and should not be wasted, with age comes a greater understanding of what brings us joy and what we prefer to avoid. The pressure to engage in activities others value diminishes as we grow older.
Chapter 2: Understanding Limits and Preferences
Recently, I experienced the loss of my father, which led to several days spent with family coordinating necessary arrangements. While we made decisions together, we also shared laughter and stories, bonding late into the night.
Returning home, I felt utterly drained, and the funeral hadn’t even occurred yet. Coincidentally, the Philadelphia Phillies, my father's beloved baseball team, are competing in the playoffs, nearing a chance at the World Series. We watched the game in his hospital room post-surgery, though he was too unwell to fully engage.
My son-in-law, Ben, invited me to attend a game with him and my grandson, reminding me of the unforgettable Game Five of the 2008 World Series that Ben and I attended together. Under normal circumstances, I would eagerly accept. However, I realized that the emotional, mental, and physical energy required was beyond my current capacity.
My father, especially, would have related. As he aged, he embraced his aversion to travel, crowds, and the hassle of daily life, gravitating towards experiences he could enjoy from the comfort of home. Given a choice between prime seats or watching from his chair, he would opt for the latter, relishing the ability to mute commercials, rewind moments, and take breaks as needed.
While a part of me thinks, “This opportunity may never arise again,” another part—the wiser part—understands that experiences are both fleeting and infinite. We will always encounter new opportunities; we can choose our engagement levels. Not everything holds equal importance, and it’s impossible to experience it all, even if we wished to.
The key, I believe, is to remain curious, open to new ideas, and eager for knowledge while recognizing the limits imposed by age and the rapid pace of change. TikTok can continue without my presence.
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In the video "How to Get What You Want By Letting Go [The Backwards Law]," the discussion revolves around the paradox of desire and how letting go can lead to achieving personal goals.
"The Law of Diminishing Returns" video explores how the benefits we receive from new experiences can decrease over time, paralleling the themes discussed above.