Discovering Your True Self: A Journey Beyond Productivity
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Understanding the Meaning Behind 'Becoming Your Best Self'
In recent years, the phrase "become the best version of yourself" has emerged as a widely embraced mantra. Promoted by motivational speakers, health enthusiasts, and wellness coaches, this expression has become a staple in contemporary discourse. Yet, what does it genuinely signify? How can one even identify their best self?
Numerous self-help figures—like Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Robert Carlson, and Louise Hay—advocate for individuals to reach their highest potential. They suggest various methods, including living in the moment, setting objectives, and tuning into one’s body. While many of these ideas are commendable, I don’t intend to undermine their contributions. They certainly hold value and can be beneficial.
However, the question remains: What does the best version of you actually look like? Furthermore, does this ideal version contribute positively to society or to those closest to you, or is it solely about personal growth and self-improvement?
One issue I find with this phrase is its inherently self-centered nature. What if your best self excels in sales or marketing but struggles to cultivate meaningful relationships? Or what if the best version of you is simply lounging on a beach without any other aspirations?
These may be extreme examples, yet the phrase opens the door to ambiguous and problematic interpretations.
Another concern is its frequent association with productivity—a buzzword of the 21st century. The notion of becoming your best self often translates to being the most efficient or financially successful version of yourself. While I don’t dismiss this perspective, as it’s valid for those driven by financial gain, I believe the original intent behind the phrase is deeper and more introspective. If you’re aligned with your inner self, you’ll resonate with this concept. But if not, it could lead to overachievement, anxiety, and unrealistic expectations.
Instead, I propose a gentler phrase: Be the best you can be.
The reason I emphasize “be” instead of “do” is that “do” suggests action. In our result-oriented society, we often feel unaccomplished when we aren’t actively engaged in tasks. However, by focusing on being the best version of yourself, you can embrace your existence as a human being. This means prioritizing authenticity over merely chasing achievements, accolades, or material success.
Here are some thoughts on how to embrace your best self without succumbing to stress or burnout.
Don’t Let Productivity Dominate Your Life
This modern-day obsession with productivity frustrates me, yet I also recognize that many people feel cornered by circumstances. Low income, family obligations, and societal pressures often necessitate a focus on productivity to meet basic needs. I empathize with this struggle, as I experience it myself. However, I see many individuals losing sight of what truly matters while chasing financial gains. They neglect their well-being and meaningful relationships, leading to stress and burnout. This doesn’t have to be the case.
If you work five or six days a week, carve out time for yourself. Dedicate an afternoon or evening to activities that nourish your soul. Listen to music, dance in your living room, enjoy tea while watching your favorite show, catch up with friends, or even take a nap. Engage in whatever brings you joy—life isn't solely about relentless hustle.
Be Present
A significant reason we get caught up in the pursuit of the “best version of ourselves” is our dissatisfaction with our current situation, be it our actions or our identity. Often, we find ourselves dwelling on past regrets or fretting about the future. Instead, focus on being your best self in the present. This moment is your opportunity to shape the day, the hour, and even the second you’re in—embrace it and savor it.
Be Mindful of Comparing Yourself to Your Past
This is a lesson I’m gradually learning, and it remains a work in progress. Refrain from comparing yourself to who you once were. Such comparisons yield only resentment and disappointment.
For instance, you might think about past accomplishments and feel inadequate in comparison. Alternatively, you might view your past self as an underachiever, leading to feelings of regret. This cycle can consume your thoughts.
Stop it. Right now.
Comparing yourself to your past can only be constructive if you either learn and move forward or recognize that previous actions were influenced by past circumstances. You acted based on the knowledge and resources available to you then. There's no sense in self-blame; it is what it is.
Practice Self-Kindness
Striving to be the best version of yourself involves pushing your limits to fully experience life. While this is admirable, remember to be kind to yourself. Just as you wouldn’t expect a fish to ride a bicycle, don’t set goals that exceed your abilities. Doing so only leads to frustration.
Instead, focus on honing your strengths. If you excel as a teacher, refine those skills. If people enjoy conversing with you, become the best listener you can be. Engage in activities you love, not for accolades but for the joy they bring. Conversely, try new things simply for the fun of it, without the pressure of perfection or achievement.
For instance, I read about a woman who, after a divorce, decided to explore activities she had always wanted to try. Despite her lack of skill in crafting or dancing, she found joy in the process. The experience itself became its own reward.
Extend Kindness to Others
Interactions with others—whether colleagues, family, or strangers—are where you can truly showcase your best self. This is vital because your treatment of others reflects who you are at your core.
Kindness is invaluable, yet people often find it difficult to express. In an increasingly challenging world, your kindness can stand out. Use kind words, acknowledge those who serve you, offer a smile, and strive to uplift those around you.
Ultimately, my message is to simply do your best in all aspects of life—work, play, relationships, and hobbies—without worrying about perfection. Being authentically you is the greatest accomplishment.
To recap, being the best you can be means:
- Avoid letting productivity overshadow your life.
- Stay present; today is a gift.
- Be aware of comparing yourself to your past.
- Show kindness to yourself.
- Extend kindness to others; it’s free.
I hope you found my reflections on this topic enlightening. I’d love to hear your thoughts as well!
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